There have been a few times in my life where I've looked at something, or stepped back from a moment and taken a mental "click" of something I'd always want to remember. One of those times was as I was sitting in the backseat of my parents' minivan as a twelve-year-old looking at a castle built in the middle of a river somewhere in Germany that I always wanted to remember. I don't know what the name of the castle is, or even what city it was in, but I'll always remember that moment.
Being a mother has provided me with many opportunities in the last six months to take mental pictures. However, tonight, I took a mental video for what I think was the first time. Anthon had his six-month doctor's appointment today and has been a little out of it from his shots. I went in to feed him at about 9:30, and, after eating, he just laid his head back on my arm. He looked exhausted, but didn't close his eyes. Instead, he just got this glazed, zoned out look to them, and stared at the chair behind my shoulder. After about thirty seconds, I decided he might have fallen asleep with his eyes still open. Then, his eyes moved to my face, focused, and he smiled the sweetest smile I've ever seen. Like, the milk-drunken smiles he used to make as a newborn after eating, only...it was when his eyes focused on me. He then reached up with his right hand and touched my face. He kept his hand there for a few seconds, then dropped it to his side before falling to sleep.
Mental video taken. Mental video stored.
Being a mother is magical. Yes, it's often sleepless, sometimes stressful, and almost always demanding. But I don't know what my life would be like without seeing this sweet little face each night as I put him down and pause just long enough before walking out of his room to ask God to watch over him as he sleeps that night.
Cheesy, but, so true.
