Week 38

Whelp, considering the fact that today is the 5th, Matthew's prediction (the arrow to the 30th), was a little off. It did, however, sure make me smile to see it drawn on our whiteboard. 

About four weeks ago, we went into the doctor and he told us I was dilated to 2cm.  They were shocked that I hadn't been having a lot of contractions. (Actually, any, to be more specific). He and the nurses went on to tell us that we could really have the baby any day, and that their money was on an October baby. Naturally, this news came as a bit of a shock. I kind of freaked out, considering we still hadn't gone to Target for a big run of everything we didn't have for baby yet, including the carseat for our little guy to get home from the hospital in. I mean, we were under the impression we had five more weeks to prep. . . 

It was on that particular visit to the doctor that we asked about travel, in case our clearance went through in the next few weeks and we had the chance to go house hunting or such. He told us that, if Matthew were going to St. George--he'd say go for it; if I go into labor, they can just call him and he can be back in time for baby. He did say, however, that New York would be a little far of a trip for that. Ha--what he didn't realize was that we were actually asking about ME traveling. When Matthew clarified, Dr. Empey said something to the effect of, "Oh, heck no. She shouldn't be going anywhere."

Ha, our appointment ended with him saying something like this: "Well, obviously I can see you're not in labor right now, which is the only reason we can let you go home...but that's not to say you won't be in labor tomorrow..." 

As you can imagine, the following few days consisted of a record-setting Target run (complete with registering for things as we threw them in the cart, so we could use that handy-dandy 15% off card), moving things from one closet to another, and filling baby's closet with all of his things. We had also been apartment hunting for something in the Salt Lake Area, but decided on staying put for the time being; nothing felt right. And, although we would have loved to have our own space for baby and us, we just felt better about staying. 

I have to say, making that decision and setting up the basinet, closet, and baby things brought SUCH peace to me. It was just such a comfort to know that we were ready for baby. Which was good, because, apparently, he could come ANY day. 

Well, it's been approximately four weeks since that appointment. haha. I have since decided that, no matter how dilated, effaced, or "in-labor" like I may be, I'm not going to expect a baby really....until my water breaks and we head to the hospital. haha. Every week I get more and more dilated--but, you know, I think he's just taking his dear sweet time and my body is just prepping for him. 

I laugh whenever people say things like, "Are you just SO ready for him to be OUT?!" 

Um...no. I'm fairly certain that the second labor starts, this whole pregnancy thing is going to be looking PRETTY nice in comparison. It's likely that it's because I've had such a great pregnancy, but, at this point, I really don't understand people getting induced early or even hoping baby comes early.

It could also be due to fear or the next phase and the unknown. Don't get me wrong--I'm SO excited to be a mom and to meet our little guy...but, with birth comes the possibilities of health problems, complications with labor, and, to be honest, just the fear that maybe he will be born with disorders, disabilities, or any wealth of health problems. It's a scary thing that I think all moms, especially, have on their minds--though many don't talk about. I can't imagine how much I'm going to love our little man, health problems or not. But I can also just imagine the huge relief I will feel if/when they hand him to us for the first time and he is healthy. Either way, I can feel that this little one is exactly who Heavenly Father wants in our family; I know he's been waiting to join us for SO long--and we've been waiting for him. 

A funny little tidbit for you: 

One of my favorite ways to sit in the pews at church is the put a hymn book on my lap, and then to lean forward and put my elbows on the hymn book. Since being pregnant, I have developed a need to give my stomach a little more room. . . So, what was once one hymn book became two hymn books, and what once was two hymn books, became two hymn books and my scriptures....and has since then become two hymn books, my scriptures, and my journal. haha, things sure tend to get crowded. I do have to laugh every time it comes time to add another book to the stack. 

Anywho. . . the wait for baby continues, and, (as I said), I'm perfectly okay with that. 

It is funny though, every night we go to bed. . . .you know how sometimes you'll leave a shirt, or book out, planning to pick it up the next day? My thought now is always, "if I go into labor tonight and we have to leave, I don't want to come back to this room with our little man and have it cluttered!" haha. I even put my scriptures in their scripture case, rather than leaving it unzipped, or leaving my scriptures just placed next to the case. I should live my life like I could go into labor every day. Our room would stay spotless. 

Dr. Empey also referred us to a pediatrician that we LOVE; we met him on Monday. Another relief--check! We randomly stopped into his office to meet him and get a feel for him, and he proceeded to sit down with us for 20 minutes on things to be aware of both before and after childbirth with baby. He answered questions I hadn't even thought of, and more. He wasn't as eccentric or outgoing as Dr. Empey (who we LOVE), but more soft-spoken--which, really, is what I'd want for a pediatrician anyways. His name is Dr. Brasher. The only sad part about all these doctors we love is that we'll be leaving them (ideally) in only a few short months. 

OH! Great story for you. I realize this post has gotten forever long...but, bear with me. I had a dream Saturday night that Matthew had gone to the hospital and had the baby without me. He didn't go into labor or anything--but somehow, in the dream, he went to the hospital without me and came back with our baby. It was SO sad! Baby proceeded to sleep for three days straight, and woke up talking like a toddler and looking more like a one-year-old. I asked him if he had gotten lots of pictures at the hospital, seeing as he was CLEARLY past the newborn phase (which broke my heart--because I had missed it!) Luckily, he had. However, our little guy was not so little anymore. I hadn't gotten to breast-feed him (okay, TMI, probably....but it's one of those things you hear about as being a type of bonding-time for mothers and children), and he only took bottles now. 

Ha, you might laugh and think it's ridiculous--but it was traumatizing! I kept feeling sad all day long, despite the fact that I knew it was only a dream. I think one of my fears is our little boy growing up way too fast, since that has been a recurring theme in my dreams while pregnant. Talking at a day old, running around as a toddler after two days. . . .

I tried to find a picture to post next to this story. Here are two that definitely DON'T relate... hahaha

Well, at least I sure hope they don't relate/aren't accurate.